DE PROFUNDIS…

Out of the depths I cry to You, O Lord…

When You were blasphemed and cursed, Lord, and then I stood up to tell the children it was wrong, was I wrong?

When the Pope was cursed and the people chuckled, I stood up and told them it was not right, was I wrong?

When womanhood was mocked and women were blamed for being raped, and I stood to defend them because they are mothers and sisters to me, was I wrong?

When they lied and I repeated what the children say that “Liars go to hell,” was I wrong to remind them?

When I organized our people to pray for those killed and begged the police, “When will these crimes under investigation be resolved?” was it wrong to ask?

When I joined them to stop drug addiction, they were happy. When I cried with angst with the thousands now orphaned by extrajudicial killings and asked that the killings stop, was I wrong to plead for mercy?

When I asked them not to forget You, Lord, when they vote, was I wrong to caution them?

Lord, was I wrong when I echoed Your Ten Commandments as guides for the conscience voting of Your people who call themselves Christians?

Lord, were You pleased to hear people being roused to kill us bishops? Was it wrong to stand up and ask a stop to the killing of priests, Your sons?

Lord, should I have just kept quiet in my distant safety? Should I have just stayed kneeling? Was it a mistake to make a stand?

Should I not have learned from Jonah and taken the safe haven instead of going to Nineveh?

Lord, did You just want me to pray and leave all the rest to You? I was tempted to take the other side of the road when I saw the wounded man on my path, but I declined my safety and tried to help as a Samaritan. Was I wrong?

I was tempted to answer the questions of the orphans of the thousands who have been killed in the anti-drug campaign “Such is life!” but I could not. It was a cop-out, I thought. Should I just keep burying the dead and not ask “Why are they dead?”

 In this darkness I cry to You, Lord. What is wrong and what is right, Lord?

Where was I wrong? Forgive me when I was wrong. Teach me how You want me to shepherd Your people.

If I was wrong, let me correct it with more love. If I was right, let me proclaim it with deeper love for only love can redeem.

Lord, I did only what I thought was Your will; look with kindness on the purity of my desire to teach and serve, not to leave Your flock in error.

I am Your minister, not the people’s messiah. I am Your worker in the vineyard, not the vineyard owner. Someday I will die, but You our Good Shepherd will provide the flock with another one to replace me. I know I am not indispensable. I am only a caretaker.

I do not have the answers to all their questions; I cannot even answer my own.

Do not abandon me if was wrong. Lord, stay by me in this abyss and defend me in distress. Lord, I trust in You.

Out of the depths I cry to You, Lord. Lord, answer me.

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