Lungkot at Hapis ni San Jose: “Pagtataksil”

In this year of St. Joseph, we are invited to reflect on his life. Sa pagkakataong ito ay pagnilayan natin yung mga kalungkutan, yung mga hapis ni San Jose. (At this time, let us reflect on the grief, on the sorrows of Saint Joseph.) At sana makita natin yung kwento ng ating sariling hapis dito sa mundo. (And may we be able to see our own stories of sorrow here on earth.)

The first sorrow of Saint Joseph was when he heard that Mary was pregnant. Nagdadalang-tao ang aking kasintahan at alam ko hindi ako yung tatay. (The woman betrothed to me is with child and I know that I am not the father of her child.) Natitiyak ko na pumasok sa isip ni San Jose yung salitang “betrayal” “pagtataksil”. (I am certain that the words “betrayal” “pagtataksil” entered the mind of Saint Joseph.) Natural siguro sapagkat hindi pa niya naiintindihan ang lahat. (It is but natural since he still did not understand what was happening then.) Taksil. (Traitor.) Betrayal. Pero kung nandoon ako maari nating sabihin kay San Jose, “Jose, mas madalas magtaksil ang lalaki kaysa sa babae. (If was there, I could’ve told Saint Joseph, “Joseph, men are more likely to betray women.) Mas maraming lalaking nagsisinungaling kaysa sa babae. (There are more men who lie than women.) At mas maraming lalaki madulas ang dila sa pangangako subalit mabagal ang katawan sa pagtupad sa kanilang pangako. (And there are more men who are sweet tongued, quick to make promises but their bodies slow in fulfilling their promises.)

Let us reflect on betrayal. Who betrayed the Lord? The apostles, kasama si Pedro na kauna-unahang Papa. (The apostles, including Peter, the very first Pope.) Nang siya ay tinanong, “Kilala mo ba siya?” Ang sagot niya ay “Hindi ko siya kilala.” (When he was asked, “Do you know Him? His answer was and declared, “I do not know Him.”) Subalit nagkaroon ng bigat yung pagtatatwa, pagsisinungaling, pagtataksil ni San Pedro, sapagkat ilang oras lamang bago niya sinabi iyon ay nagbitaw siya ng salitang, “Hinding-hindi kita iiwan, Panginoon. Hinding-hindi mangyayari iyan, Panginoon.” (However, the gravity of Saint Peter’s denial of Jesus, of his lies, of his betrayal became heavier because just a few hours before, he said, “I would never leave you, Lord. That will never happen, Lord.”) Mayabang. (Boastful. Proud.) Madulas magsalita (Sweet-tongued). Mahina. (Weak.) Iyan ang ating kuwento. (That is our story.) Mayabang tayo sa salita. (We speak to boast.) Madulas mangako at mahina tayo sa ating gawain. (Quick to make promises yet slow in fulfilling them.) Subalit sa Ebanghelyo ay narinig natin na pagkatapos ng pagsisinungaling, pagkatapos ng pagtatwa ng kaunang-unahang apostol sa kanyang Panginoon ay nagtagpo ang paningin ng guro at ng alagad. (But the Gospel told us that after the lies, after the very first apostle denied Jesus, the eyes of the Teacher and his apostle met.

And then the gospels told us, Peter wept bitterly. Nanangis siya ng buong kapaitan. (He wept bitterly.) Mayabang na madulas mangako at mahina sa pagtupad. (Boastful. Sweet-tongued, quick to make promises yet slow in fulfilling them.) Subalit sa huli ay nagtagpo ang kanilang tingin at nanangis. (But in the end, their eyes met and he wept.) Natuto rin siyang umiyak. (He learned to cry.) Akala natin yung mga taong mayabang hindi marunong umiyak. (We presumed that those who are boastful are incapable of crying.) Akala natin yung mga taong madaling mangako, na romantiko ay hindi maruong umiyak. (We presumed that those who are quick to make promises, the romantics are incapable of crying.) Subalit sa pagkakataong ito, umiyak.(But in this moment, he cried.)

Mga minamahal kong kapatid, lahat tayo ay taksil. (My dear brothers and sisters, we are all traitors.) Huwag na tayong tumingin pa sa malayo. (Let us not look far.) Iyong parang pagtataksil na naisip ni San Jose ay totoong pagtataksil na ginagawa natin. (That thought of betrayal that entered the mind of Saint Joseph, we have done this ourselves.) Hindi kailanman nagtaksil ang kanyang kasintahan sa kanya. (The woman betrothed to him did not betray him.) Subalit tayo, kasintahan ng Panginoong Hesukristo, lahat tayo ay naging taksil. (But we, who are betrothed to the Lord Jesus Christ, have all become traitors ourselves.) At sa ating pagtaksil, sa ating pagsisinungaling, sa ating pagtalikod, sa ating pagsaksak sa Kanyang likuran, (And in our betrayal, in our lies, in our abandonment, in our back-stabbing ways) sa ating pagkakataong iniwanan Siya, kung kailan natin dapat Siyang tulungan at kung kalian kailangang-kailangan tayo. (in those times when we abandoned Him when He needed our help the most.) Anong nangyari? (What happened?) Nagtagpo ang ating tingin. (Our eyes met.) Our eyes met and then we knew we are loved. You cry because you are judged. You also cry because you are also punished. You cry because your conscience disturbs you. But there is a different kind of crying. The crying when you know you are loved even if you do not deserve it. The crying the tears that comes from the experience of eyes piercing not with rebuke but piercing with love. And saying to you – No matter what happens, I will love you.

Lahat tayo nakaranas na na mapagtaksilan at lahat tayo nakapagtaksil na rin sa ating mahal sa buhay. (All of us have experienced betrayal and all of us may have at one point betrayed our loved-ones.) Si Maria ay tapat kay Jose. (Mary is true to Joseph.) Naisip niya sigurong nagtaksil sapagkat hindi niya maunawaan. (He may have thought that there was betrayal as he didn’t yet understand what was happening.) Sa huli naunawaan din sa pamamagitan ng anghel. (In the end, he understood through the revelation of an angel.) Tayo, mga minamahal kong kapatid…tayong lahat ay inaanyayahang kung paanong tiningnan ni Jose ang sanggol na si Hesus. (As for us, my dear brothers and sisters, we are being called to look upon the child Jesus as Saint Joseph did.) Kung papaanong ang mata ng ama ay nakipagtagpo sa mata ng kanyang inaalagaang anak. (How the father’s eyes met the eyes of the child he was caring for.) It was not a meeting of eyes with rebuke. It was a meeting of eyes with compassion, with mercy.

Naiiyak ka dahil may kasalanan ka. Dapat lang. (You cry because you have sinned. It is rightly so.) Nakakaiyak sapagkat alam mong minahal ka kahit hindi ka karapat-dapat, magpasalamat ka. (You cry because you know that you are loved even if you don’t deserve it. Be thankful.) At kung papaano ka minahal nang hindi ka karapat-dapat, ulitin mo pa iyon nang dalawa, tatlo, isang daang beses. (How you were loved even though you are not deserving of such love, repeat this twice, thrice, a hundredfold.) Sapagkat iyon ang tanda na natuto ka nang magmahal. (Because this is the true mark that you have learned how to love.) Iyon ang tanda na sa kabila nang lahat, sa kabila ng pagtataksil…mahal ako ng Diyos. (This is the sign that through it all, despite my betrayals…God loves me.) At iyon ang pinagmumulan ng aking lakas ng loob. (And that is where our courage comes from.)

May the peace of the Lord be with you. May your eyes meet His eyes. May your love meet His love. And may that love be made perfect in your life. May that love be shared to all. Amen.