Lord Jesus, it is so easy to pretend that all is well with me. It is so easy to put on a mask, to put up a front, to smile even if I am angry, to shake hands even if I carry resentment within. Lord, it is so easy to make such external gestures. Many people do not know our thoughts. No one can read our thoughts. No one can judge our thoughts. They do not know that we are angry inside. They do not see the grudges we harbor within. They do not know how we hurt inside. They are not aware of our hidden pains. They have no hint of our inner fears.

Lord, You know our fears. You know our shame. You know everything. We cannot hide anything from You. We cannot keep any secrets from You. You know us more than we could ever know ourselves. I am not afraid of this. Lord. I am happy that at least there is one who understands me, at least one who knows me, who reaches out to me. I may be abandoned by all, I may be judged by all. But if You are by my side, I have nothing to fear.

Lord, it is so difficult to forgive. The hurts, the pains inflicted on us by friends and families, are sometimes too deep to be forgotten; too deep to be taken for granted. We cannot cover by “band-aid” the wounds that these have caused. They have become like open cuts that continue to bleed. It is so difficult to forgive when the wound is fresh. It is so difficult to forgive right away.

But You, Lord, so readily forgive. At Calvary, You said, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” You were still bleeding and yet You were already forgiving. Those who meant you harm had not yet completed their task, but Your forgiveness was already complete. Lord, make us like You. Make us forgive even while we are bleeding. Make us ready to forgive while others are still plotting crimes against us. Make us forgive even if it is difficult. Make us forgive not tomorrow, not next week but right now.

Lord, life can be too much for me; too heavy to bear. No one seems to understand. Everybody is in a hurry. Everybody is busy with their own affairs. No one is left with me. Not my husband or my wife, not my children or my friend. No one is left but You. Lord, help me to love You and help me to give You a chance to love me.

Lord, I am not at peace. I am not at peace because I am begrudging. I am not at peace because I am resentful. I am bitter. Lord, restore to me the peace of my youth. Lord, restore to me the innocence of my childhood. Lord, restore to me the joy, the peace, the innocence that is Your will for me.

Jesus In My Heart

2 Replies to “LORD, YOU KNOW ALL”

  1. Dear Fr. Soc, how true brought out our feelings. Yes, I’m going through these all the time but eventually it’s God who is my saviour.

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