I AM CONFUSED

Lord, I don’t feel that I have anything to offer now. Inside me is emptiness. I can only hear the throbbing of sadness in my heart. I am sitting on the ashes of desolation. I feel the sea of nothingness has swallowed me up. I feel empty, I feel nothing. Lord, I am here because I want You to fill me up again. At this time, when I feel so alone, powerless, sad, and desolate, even the passion of Your love does not excite me anymore. The promise that You will always be with us can no longer spark any enthusiasm in me.

Lord, I feel empty. I have nothing to offer You. Lord, please accept the emptiness of my spirit. Fill me with a deep belief in Your abiding presence. Allow me to say goodbye to whatever keeps me from relying on You. Help me to confront the emptiness I feel right now to be a blessing that enables me to put my life in perspective. Then I will be able to see You as the Source of all.
God of the poor, look at me, Your lost child. God of the poor, fill me in my need. God, of those who have so little from my emptiness, I throw out the bitterness of my prayer and agony to You. All the riches of the past have disappeared. I feel empty and lonely right here inside the church and before the Blessed Sacrament. Lord, are You calling me to a deeper and fuller reliance on You alone? Are You calling me to be challenged in my spiritual journey so I can choose where my treasure is?

When I go to bed, I cannot sleep. When I wake up, I feel tired. I long for the days when my prayer life felt so good. I long for the days when I would leave the church feeling high. I long for the days when I would attend Mass and feel peace. I do not experience those days anymore, but I still want to follow You. I don’t feel those joys anymore, but I will continue to pray even if it does not pay off. Lord, throw me into Your heart. Bless me always, I am too poor to be left alone.

I am too needy to be abandoned, Lord, I lift up to You myself. My poor, empty, lonely, drifting self. Show me the right way; show me the right path. Lord, hear our prayer. Lord, sometimes I don’t know whether You are still here. I do not feel Your presence anymore. I do not feel right when I pray. I don’t feel happy when I pray. I am even tempted when I pray. I am distracted when I pray. The history of my sinfulness haunts me. Lord, deliver me from all these distractions. Lord, I am tempted to be lazy. I am tempted to give up on going to Mass. I am tempted to give up on praying the rosary. I am tempted to give up on being good. I am just tired. Lord, protect me from discouragement, protect me from laziness, protect me from the temptation to give up. Lord, I feel pain in my body. Physical pain, emotional pain, mental torture, and psychological aches. Lord, heal my pains. Change my pain into joy.

Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me Jesus, Your Son He gives meaning to the emptiness I carry within. He gives meaning to the loneliness I have to face day by day. He gives meaning to my sleepless days. He gives meaning to my tired mornings. Lord, stay with me and never let me be parted from You. I am too poor to be abandoned. I am too needy to be forsaken.

I AM CONFUSED
Jesus In My Heart

3 Replies to “I AM CONFUSED”

  1. It is in these moments of desolation that God’s grace is at work in us inviting us to go deeper what matters most…

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